by Kate Fitch
I don’t have much experience with figuring out what to say to someone in recovery, because I’ve been the one in recovery. I read this article today, though, that I think got it spot on.
“…your loved one’s recovery is not about you. Instead, ask about their goals or expectations and support them in accomplishing these. By trusting your loved one’s assessment of their recovery, you are demonstrating your confidence in them and whatever path to recovery they have chosen.”
Absolutely right! Recovering from a mental health or substance use condition can lead to feelings of personal failure, inadequacy, and incompetence. There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling that those beliefs are coming from people in your life when you’ve already started the process of recovery.
Families, trust that, by recovering, your loved one is doing something right. Support them in their journey, even though it might not look exactly how YOU think it should look. And be patient, like the article suggests. People in recovery – stand up for yourself! You don’t have to recover according to anyone else’s guidelines and values but your own. You made the decision to recover. I think that says a lot about your competence in the recovery process.
I believe in you.
